adulting

tonight’s dinner is “what do i have in the fridge that needs to get used up?” 2x cucumbers + 1x avocado + ~1.5c cottage cheese + ~1c salsa verde + 1lb ground turkey w/ taco seasoning. i had a second avocado but it went bad. probably could have used the extra avocado. 2 cucumbers is a lot.

assuming i don’t get food poisoning from any of these things, it’s actually not half bad. the taco seasoning really helps. i tried it before i put in the meat and it was very bland. a little spicy from the salsa, but otherwise just very bland.

everything about this makes me feel all grown up. the fact that i had actual vegetables in my refrigerator, and that i actually had a thought that the finished product needed MORE AVOCADO! i didn’t even think i liked avocado until about three years ago. the fact that i actually made foodstuffs with a bunch of actual ingredients, which didn’t come from a box, and didn’t involve a recipe. I MADE A THING!

so anyway, good job, self.

good morning!

“thank you God for the flat tire, and also for the rain.”

sunday mornings are often a little crazy at my house. i really like to sleep, but i also want to help the church, so i tend to sleep until the last possible second then run around getting ready to go and running out the door just in time to make it to church to set up. this morning was only marginally more crazy than most sunday mornings.

my alarm goes off at 7 am on sundays. i usually hit the snooze button once or twice, which i know is a terrible habit, and actually worse for your sleep cycles, but it’s what i do. this morning i hit the snooze button once, then went back to sleep, expecting it to go off again. i woke up again somewhere around 8:05, realizing that my alarm clock had completely shut off altogether. i’m supposed to be out the door no later than 8:10 to get there by 8:30 to set up.

i let the dog out to do her business and went to work getting myself ready. not long after, i smelled something like burning plastic and couldn’t quite figure out what it was. i started to panic and think i was about to have an electrical fire, but then my brain went “SKUNK!” i looked outside to see penny huddled on the porch at the back door, with her head to the wall. when i brought her in, i found that she had in fact been sprayed, in the eyes, by a skunk.

i got her in the tub and washed her head and shoulders with a diluted mix of vinegar and dawn soap, which helped some. i gave her a couple benadryl and at least now she can open her eyes and the swelling in her face has gone away. unfortunately, she still smells pretty bad and when she calms down i will need to give her another bath. consequently, my house smells pretty bad, and so do i. it even smells like skunk outside, so opening the windows wouldn’t even really help (plus its 32* outside, so i’m not sure it would do much good for my heating bill).

this isn’t quite how i had planned for my morning to go, but “life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.” penny will be fine and the church will survive without me this one week. apparently God had different plans for me this morning, and His plans trump mine every single time.

it’s going to be ok.

Loneliness actually hurts us on a cellular level – Vox

A scientist explains how the pain of loneliness makes us sick.

“Humans are social animals” is a phrase often repeated by psychologists to sum up why we’ve been such a successful species. Our ability to live, work, and cooperate in groups is the key to our survival.

But it comes with a tradeoff. Companionship is an asset for human survival, but its mirror twin, isolation, can be toxic.

Source: Loneliness actually hurts us on a cellular level – Vox

Words of Affirmation

LALALALALA I’M A HAPPY LITTLE BUTTERFLY!!! I AM FULL OF ENTHUSIASM FOR LIFE AND A BURNING DESIRE TO BE ALIVE!!! I SEE THE BEAUTY IN THE WORLD!!! I AM BLESSED IN ABUNDANCE AND OVERFLOWING WITH HOPE!!! 

help me

it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.
it’s going to be ok.

ramifications and fallout

as i sit here sobbing, shaking with fear and anger, staving off an anxiety attack AND a ptsd episode, all i can think is congratulations, america. we just elected my narcissistic, compulsively lying, controlling, manipulative, abusive, gaslamping, attention whore of an ex-husband to the highest office in the country. we validated the absolute worst of humanity and told a man who does not give two shits about anyone but himself that we like him just the way he is. we have told our children that this is what they should aspire to be: a conman. a racist, selfish, closed-minded, misogynistic bully. we have told our children that it’s totally ok to take whatever you want, and everyone else be damned. that it’s ok to alienate people simply because you’re afraid. that it’s ok for people to die because they aren’t you, or yours. that when someone says something about you that you don’t like, you sue them, send them to jail, wipe them off the face of the planet, and destroy them. that it’s ok to make deals with people then bail on those deals, leaving everyone else high and dry. that it’s ok to use power to take advantage of others. that it’s ok to lie about everything under the sun, to change sides on an issue from one minute to the next, to have zero moral compass, .

i am ashamed to be american today. i am disgusted by every single one of my friends and family that voted for him. i am terrified for not only my own future, but the future of everyone i hold dear, and even those people that i don’t know, who live on the other side of the world. for the marriages of my non-straight friends, for the religious freedoms of my non-christian friends, for the safety of my non-white friends…

HOW HAVE WE ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN?!?!?! WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!?!

so, that happened.